Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Stuck.

Today I've really struggled with feeling stuck in a rut. I was browsing through my old pictures of Italy and reminiscing about my adventures. It's hard to believe that it was over 4 years ago! It feels like only yesterday that I stopped in a "bar" for my morning cappuccino, browsed the open air market, walked through the piazza del duomo and was completely surrounded tons of history, stunning art, and incredible architecture - all on the way to school! I miss it. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can bring myself right back to that period in my life. It was my first opportunity for independence and not living at my parents' house. I was able to explore foreign lands on my own, engulf myself in unique and dynamic cultures, try out my conversational Italian, meet distant family members for the first time, study art history while seeing the actual work, and shop in one of the world biggest fashion capitals! In addition to my own adventures, I got to spend half of my time there with Brandon. We both agree that it was the turning point in our relationship. That's when we realized we couldn't live apart from one another! aaawe =P
So why am I so unsettled today when I truly have a lot to be thankful for? I've got a wonderful husband, great friends, we own our own home, I have a steady well paying job, an adorable little pug, and I'm really getting into Yoga which makes me feel great! But, I feel stuck. I can't progress in my chosen career path until I start school, but for that to happen I just have to wait...wait... wait... I'm starting to come to the realization that I won't be in nursing school this upcoming fall (like I'd hoped) and I don't really want to get my hopes up that I will. I am still 1 of 20 students on the alternate list for the upcoming semester. In all honestly, I'll probably start in January; 3 years after I applied. That's just craziness. I ready to start. I've been ready for quite some time now. There's so much that I want to do and accomplish in life, and getting through school is a necessary step for me. I mean, how cool would it be to use my nursing degree and volunteer for something like this? totally rad. I'm getting stir crazy! I want another fun adventure, but until I win the lottery or graduate school I'll have to stick to my Internet vacations. An Internet vacation? Yes, I'm guilty of looking up plane tickets, hotels, and browsing pictures of sites I'd like to see and pretend I'm really there. I know, I'm a big nerd. Tonight I'll look up Ireland. =D

What's your dream vacation/adventure?

4 comments:

  1. Things will happen when they are suppose to Ashley. Just have fun doing what you are doing for now. The waiting is hard, but it will all work out.

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  2. Thanks Kar =D
    Deep down I know that to be true, just some days are harder than others. I'm sure it will be worth the wait.

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  3. Oh, Ashley, I do know how you feel. I know Kar has given the right advice, but I still know how you feel too. The waiting is hard. Looking around at the adventures of others most times doesn't help either because while you're "glad" for them, sometimes secretly you're longing for your own adventure. lol The adventure can be traveling, a job opportunity, a new phase of life, whatever. Hang in there.

    The Internet vacation is a cool idea. And I can say I've done that a time or two. I've dreamed of going to El Salvador, Mexico, Peru, and now Spain. See a pattern here? lol

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  4. I totally hear you Ashley! I was just about to write a blog about being stuck in a rut!! But I'm also stuck in a writer's block... :-)

    I think a dream vacation for me would be going horseback riding in Ireland. I want to ride an Irish Sporthorse and go through a cross country course... :-) I'm also a huge nerd...

    We're taking a very exciting trip to New Zealand for Christmas this year since we'll already be in TOKYO!

    If you ever want to visit Japan- you have a free place to stay and tour guides!! we'll even pick you guys up from Narita Int'l Airport, if you'd like!! :-)

    FUN!!

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